Let’s Talk about Humility (2)

Last week we talked about three steps to attaining humility, today we’ll be looking at the rest. Without further ado;

4. Humility means we use our talents and capabilities

“For by the grace given to me, I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” – Romans 12 Vs 3.

This means that we don’t boast of our own accomplishments and abilities. Rather, we acknowledge that our achievements were made possible through God. (2 Corinthians 3:5)

Nonetheless, this does not mean that we should neglect the gifts and the heavenly calling that God Himself has given to us. God wants us to fulfil our purpose for existing. He has equipped us each with our own talents and gifts God desires to be able to use us to His glory and for His purpose, and each of us should be aware of this. Humility is that we use our talents and capabilities under God’s direction and leading, giving Him the honour and glory for what is accomplished in and through our lives.

Choose to serve others ( 2 Corinthians 4:5). When we serve others, we are serving God’s purposes in their lives. Doing so reduces our focus on ourselves. When serving another costs us nothing, we should question whether it is really servanthood. David’s conversation with Ornan comes to mind (1 Chronicles 21 Vs 24)

  • Some people don’t know their talents, especially introverted people. The following could help;

Try Cultivating your interests. Many introverted personality types devote a lot of time and energy towards something they’re passionate about. Though it doesn’t happen to all, it is a common trait, and it may help you become more grounded and comfortable in your quiet/reserved personality.

Think back to your childhood. What activities did you enjoy doing the most? If you loved drawing, perhaps you could take up art to God’s glory. If you loved reading and writing, try taking a writing class. The things that were most meaningful to you at an early age of development are probably still lingering in your mind just below the surface.

If you still can’t figure out where your passions lie, think about the things in your life now that spark your curiosity. What excites you in your day-to-day life?

5. Speak Little About Yourself;

listen more, especially during conversations.

It doesn’t mean we’re to be quiet or passive. while we should always have a quiet and meek spirit before the Lord, there are some situations where God wants us to be bold and speak up before others. We should allow God to use us exactly as He pleases in every situation. 1Pet 3 Vs 3 & Rom 12 Vs 11.

Be swift to listen to the other person, ask questions from what he/she just spoke about. When necessary or when asked, talk about yourself.

  • Being quiet

This will be really hard for my extroverted people (sanguine and choleric).

Being a quiet person has its ups and downs. Many people view being quiet/reserved as being shy or even disinterested, though this is often not the case. With a little practice and you can’t be yourself with probably the same or cooler friends.

Everybody thinks reserved People do not have any friends. Sometimes it’s true other times it’s not. Some quiet/reserved individuals have friends as they find it easier to build strong friendships with people, partly because they focus on getting to know the other person instead of making idle small talk or going on about themselves. They are usually fantastic listeners too.

If you’re trying to work on being reserved and a good listener. Try to be more self-aware.

Have a sense of your self at least a few minutes every day. This can help you better navigate the world.

Make time to reflect on your day, have some spare time to reflect on yourself and your day.

Figure out which of your life’s experiences have been the most meaningful or enlightening, and examine why and how those experiences changed you.

Practice your listening skills. Quiet/ reserved people tend to be good listeners. That’s because people with these personality traits tend to think and process information before speaking.

Listen carefully to everything the other person is saying.

Decide when to respond and what to say. Keep your responses concise and to a minimum.

Think before you give any response at all. If you need some time to gather your thoughts before you respond, say something like, “Hmm. I have something to say on the matter, but let me have a moment to think this through.”

6. Don’t judge, Mind your own business and stop being nosy:

We all have the tendency to conclude certain things about other people, not realising that we are in reality, passing judgement on them. It is even worse if we conclude that “they will never change” or “they are beyond hope”. Not only do we judge them, but we also curse them. Such judgemental pride assumes we are all-knowing and entitled to condemn others. It also implies that God cannot work a miracle in their lives. This offends and belittles the all-powerful. We need to avoid this.

Matthew 7:1 ESV  “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

There’s an old adage which says, “There are 3 sides to every story. There’s what you say happened. There’s what the other person said happened. And there’s what really happened.”

The reality is, whatever the situation, you don’t know the whole story.

It’s easy to assume you understand what’s going on and make a judgment. But the reality is, you know nothing about what’s going on in other people’s situation.

So mind your own business and stay out of everyone else’s.

  • Don’t try to manage other people’s affairs

Except on the rare occasions when someone specifically asks you for help, keep your advice to yourself.

No matter how well-intentioned your motive.

  • Stop being nosy

A couple of people have complained that I’m not nosy enough and that it makes me seem disinterested. Yet it’s not good to be nosy, it’s best to find the balance.

There is a big difference between showing interest in another person and being an annoying, persistent interrogator.

  • Accept what people share with you.

Recently, my crush and I were conversing and she told me deep issues going on in her family, I wanted to be a nice guy who’s a problem solver (to impress her you know 😉) while she just needed someone to air her views with and talk to, a shoulder to cry on. So I kept on asking, I noticed she wasn’t so comfortable and had to dial back.

If you think you’re starting to cross the line into being nosy…you probably have gone too far. Dial it back a bit.

7. Purpose to speak well of others

(Ephesians 4:31-32). Saying negative things about others puts them “one down” and us “one up.” Speaking well of others edifies them and builds them up. Make sure, however, that what you say is not intended as flattery.

Give other people genuine compliments NOT flattery.

  • Ignore the mistakes of others ;

There’s a saying I like which goes something like this, “People will always forget what you told them, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

Instead of throwing people’s mistakes back in their face, use these times as your opportunity to show your humility.

Something along the lines of, “That’s OK, I used to make the same mistake all the time.” will go a long way toward showing your true humility. It will set you apart as a leader too.

8. Accept contradictions and corrections with a smile

There are going to be times when someone is going to disagree and try to correct you for something.

Whether they’re right or wrong, it doesn’t matter – and your response should always be the same.

First, don’t take anything the other person says personally.

Accept the other person’s opinion and give up any need you have to prove you’re right.

Accepting someone’s opinion, but appearing emotionally overwhelmed with your arms folded and a scowl on you face won’t help.

This has been exceptionally hard for me, as I like arguing football with my friends and defending my club’s (arsenal) Pride.

Accept insults and injuries when directed your way.

Take wrongs patiently (1 Peter 3:8-17).

Don’t take things personally. When someone throws insults your way, be assured the problem they are dealing with is not you, it’s something else.

  • Receive correction and feedback from others graciously (Proverbs 10:17, 12:1).

A local pastor was noted for graciously receiving any negative feedback or correction offered. He would simply say “thank you for caring enough to share that with me, I will pray about it and get back to you.”

When you do talk with others who are close to you, ask them for honest feedback about your behaviour and your ideas. Let them know that you want to be more aware of yourself and the way you think and act and that an outsider’s perspective would be very useful in helping you learn more about yourself.

Admit when you’re wrong.

Confess your weaknesses (and sins) to trusted friends and families.

Be teachable. admit you don’t know everything. Don’t be defensive when tutored.

Read books.

Be open-minded to receive the Ideas and suggestions in the book. Be teachable.

  • Accept being slighted, disliked or forgotten.

We all have a human need to be relevant.

But sometimes life moves on and, well…we aren’t as relevant as we once were.

If you ever left a job or an environment and then returned a month later to visit and nobody remembered you…it’s nobody’s fault. Life just moves on.

9. Accept a lowly place and appreciate where you are.
(Proverbs 25:6,7).

If you find yourself wanting to sit at the high table, wanting others to recognize your contribution or become offended when others are honoured or chosen, then pride is present.

I was guilty of this a while back, after working really hard, I felt I deserved recognition for my hard work. SMH😕

Purpose to support others being recognized, rather than you. Accept and look for the lowly place; it is the place of humility.

Purposely associate with people of lower state than you (Luke 7:36-39). Jesus was derided by the Pharisees for socializing with the poor and those of lowly state.

Resist the temptation of being partial and nice only to those with status or wealth. Or those you stand a chance of getting something from.

  • Stop seeking attention

Some people enjoy drawing attention to themselves. This behaviour is driven by the belief that other people should listen to or follow them.

Believe me, I’ve been there.

Humility, on the other hand, will gently consider others first.

Philippians 2:4 ESV Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.

  • Cultivate a grateful heart (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

The more we develop an attitude of gratitude for the gift of salvation and life He has given us, the more true our perspective of self. A grateful heart is a humble heart. Giving glory to God for your accomplishments.

10. Accept your flaws and know you are not the best.

  • Stop grumbling

I have this friend, Fola. He’s a cool guy and a very talented drummer. I don’t like being around him, cos he complains a lot. Anytime I try to change the topic to something positive or neutral he has this fantastic talent of making it negative. He complains and complains and complains. We might be going out together and he’ll be the only one talking complaining.

Any form of grumbling, whining or protesting stems from a spirit of self-entitlement and self-righteousness.

When we humble our hearts and submit to God instead, we will be positive shining lights to people around us.

Philippians 2:14-15 ESV: Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.

Don’t complain too much… especially about other people. People are drawn to positive people.

When you default and complain,  counter it with two positive comments.

Be optimistic.

Weed out media that negatively affects the way you act.

I do this yearly ritual where for a full month, I go offline.

No WhatsApp, no twitter, no Facebook, no Instagram, nothing. The only things I use my phone for are; browsing football news, checking out cool articles online when needed watching movies and, making and receiving phone calls.

I do a lot of reading, meditation and retrospection during this period. It is like I’m alone on a mountain.

I plan on doing this more often, probably this time I’ll actually go to a mountain alone. With my phone of course, for phone calls to loved ones. LoL😁

Social media (even messenger apps like WhatsApp) often has the tendency to make us envious (comparing ourselves), become liars, and prideful. It’s important to recognize when an app or website we frequent is having a negative impact on us and developing very un-Christian qualities in our lives. If this is happening, it may be time to step back and take a break from social media (maybe use the time you normally scroll through WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram to instead read Jesus’ chats with people in Luke! 😁).

Hopefully, these ten suggestions will help cultivate a genuine attitude of humility.

N.B; like any spiritual fruit, humility is not something we can do ourselves with willpower, it is developed in us through the Holy Spirit. So be patient–God is working in your life as you trust Him more.

You can’t submit and become ‘consistently’ humble without the help of the Holy spirit.

The HolySpirit can NOT come into you if you don’t believe in Jesus (and genuinely obey him).

So if you’re not a Christian or if you’re a backsliding Christian and you want the HolySpirit to come into your life to help you become a better person, a humble person, say this prayer with me;

Lord Jesus, I believe you died for me and rose up on the third day. Please come into my heart. Come in today, come in to stay. I proclaim you Lord over my life. Help me conform into your image as I yield myself completely to you. I believe and trust in you. Amen.
Congratulations, if you’ve just said this with the whole of your heart and with conviction, you’re a born again Christian.

Go to a Good Bible believing church near you, Listen to preachings everyday from Men of God (even from YouTube), Read the Bible and pray everyday if you want to grow.

May God give you the grace to Keep on. Amen.


Let me chip in a few others I just found floating around the internet.
  • Go in last
  • Be kind, forgive even when provoked.
Be quick to forgive (Matthew 18: 21-35). Forgiveness is possibly one of the greatest acts of humility we can do.

  • Practice anonymous kindness
Volunteer to do things and help with your money, time and potentials. Help kids learn, old adults etc. Give money to the less privileged around and far from you. Nobody else needs to know. Don’t volunteer for bragging rights.

  • Spend more time with nature;
When I was younger anytime I’m bored at night around 7 – 8 pm waiting for my parents to get back, I stay outside staring at the stars and moon, engrossed and lost in thought at the wonders I see. I still do this, in fact, I did this yesterday.

Try it, you’ll be amazed what happens up there. Creativity at its peak by the master creator.

Get away from ourselves and see that there are things bigger than ourselves and problems that we should be in awe of. Standing at the base of a mountain could make you feel like a grain of sand.

  • Spend more time around children;
Being around children will help you rejuvenate your sense of wonder. Listen to their perspective on the world. Observe how forgiving, non-discriminating, happy they are.
This can help you be more appreciative of the world around you and it will keep you from taking anything for granted.

  • Do some exercise especially yoga; could help you be in touch with your mind and body.

I’ve started mine. You should too, so join up let’s do this. 😁 We’ll finalize these discussions next week.

Au revoir ✌🏾







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