F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Man is a gregarious animal.

Aristotle said:

“He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god”.

Something My sociology and anthropology “friends” would say.

Isn’t it weird how best friends from primary school till secondary school or best friends through secondary school would get to the university and end up being strangers?

I say this cos I know a couple of my secondary school classmates who this happened/is happening to and i was so so shocked. But now,I guess I’m starting to understand why this happens. These secondary school friends of mine were tight, unbreakable, they were so so totally synced, they both loved the same stuffs, had the same goals, loved the same girl (lol), they totally synced.

Fast forward to a few years later. I now act as middle man, you know…

For example, friend A asks me “hey Jeff what’s up, how doing? how’s Friend B doing”? Etc.

Though, Out of all the sets of Best friends I know through secondary school, only one set of best friends are still best friends.

I usually just feel tempted to ask why these friends are now far apart. Did they quarel? Do they have a beef? I don’t think so. So what happened I asked myself?

Well, so far according to my observations about people (I might be wrong though) there are some things that could make people become friends and also could make them NOT remain friends. Some of them are;

1. Not Being and thinking on the same wavelength:
I mean through secondary school, they were friends because they synced they clicked, they thought almost the same way. Now they don’t. Probably one wants to always be wild while the other wants to be conservative or something else etc.

2. Wanting to belong to a better, cool clique and neglecting the old, un-cool clique

This one just bursts my brain everytime.Why on God’s green earth? We were friends, you were alright till you weren’t, cos I met better ones who were richer, more fun, on trend, who hosted the latest parties, dated the coolest girls, and they’d like to have me around. Or you’ve met better Christian friends who are so Godly. Great, I’m NOT saying it’s a bad thing to hang out with em, but I guess it will also be okay to hang out with the new friends and the old friends too, especially if the old friends are “not too bad”

3. Symbiotic relationships

Life is symbiotic. We breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, plants breathe in the carbon dioxide and breath out oxygen, the cycle continues. You cannot be a friend or in a group and not give something. You gain from your friend/group and they also should gain from you. You shouldn’t always collect, gain and not give something. That would be a “Parasitic relationship”

Lol, this reminds of a friend we had in school. He begs and nabs a lot, like a lot and he’s stingy, always giving excuses when we beg in return. Anytime we hear he’s coming, everyone would lock the door and hide anything “beg-able”

“Guy, guy! choko dey come o, hide the garri, hide your money o”

When he eventually comes everybody will be all smiles, cos choko is a really lively guy, really sanguine. Immediately he starts to beg for something, everybody frowns and would say they don’t have it.

What about me?

I’ve always said I’m not your usual guy, guess I’m kinda weird. Lol.

I guess I didn’t have a best friend in secondary school. I was friends with Everybody.

I’m not perfect either, I have lost touch with a lot of em. There was a moment in my Life I wanted to be away from everything and everyone (except my mom). It’s NOT depression, lol. Hell NO, far from it. I wanted to just discover myself and stuffs (You know, the way batman and Jesus did when he went they went to the mountains) and I thought that was the best way to go about it. Guess I was wrong. Probably it’s because of my personality/ temperament (will talk about that probably in the next blog hopefully).

Though now, I guess I have two best friends. One of em is from my secondary school, weirdly. 😁

* * * * *

We all need to be loved, that means we all need to be warm towards others. There are assholes in this world who will take advantage of your hospitality and friendship, that’s why i used the word be “warm to people”, NOT best friends with everyone. Be warm to people, Cos you might be the only person who’s been “warm” to them all day long and that could go a long way to help them mentally. Loneliness gnaws a man from within. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life for better or worse. God put us in each others life to impart one another. Let’s be warm to someone today, everyday.

Another story

” Kyle wanted to commit suicide cos he was depressed. Mike saw Kyle looking gloomy, carrying a lot of books and just felt for him, all of a sudden, a group of bullies pushed Kyle and all the books fell. Mike went over and helped Kyle. Kyle smiled, Mike then escorted Kyle home they talked and talked and eventually found out Kyle was pretty cool and they had a lot in common. Kyle and Mike became Best friends… Kyle graduated top of his class in the university. As the best student he had to give a speech,and in his speech he said that “he planned on killing himself. Had he not met Mike, he definitely would have killed himself”

Enduring loneliness requires perseverance and strength of mind. The state of alienation may depress a person. He may become insane. Everybody cannot bear the pangs of leading a lonely life. Man (even melancholy people) need company to share his views and thoughts. It is also said that solitude is the playfield of satan. Man gets diverted and takes recourse to illegal ways. The Bible says that

‘woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up’. – Eccl 4 Vs 10

An alienated person leads a miserable and pitiable life. Survival at a deserted place becomes next to impossible for a human being. Solitude gives vent to the feelings of enmity against mankind.

Mother Teresa has described loneliness in a fitting manner.

She said,

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty”.

Each individual needs love, affection and company. The victims of solitude and loneliness never feel themselves gratified. They never feel themselves the part of the main stream. It breeds negativity and animosity. They become hostile towards the fellow human beings. The repercussions of loneliness are catastrophic and disastrous. They are bad, really really bad.

Story time

(Fill in the gap)…he knocked on the door to ask shelter for the night. Nor was he refused. Instead of the sour faces which ordinarily met him, the owner, who was an old man. without wife or child, was happy to get someone to talk to in his loneliness.”

Conclusion

Everybody needs approval.

Everybody needs to be around somebody.

Everybody needs to be loved.

Everybody needs a friend.

Be warm to people even if they are assholes.

No matter how quiet and reserved and melancholy you are, how alone you feel you need to be, you need a friend.

We should be in touch with old friends even if you’re NOT on the same wavelength.

Be warm to people, Cos you might be the only person who’s been “warm” to them all day long and that could go a long way to help them mentally.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person’s life for better or worse.

God put us in each others life to impart one another. Let’s be warm to someone today, everyday.

Loneliness gnaws a man from within.

Cos Man is a gregarious and dependant animal.

Au revoir ✌️

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